Have you ever tried to take a joke that normally takes 5 minutes to tell and try to stretch it to 15 minutes? Aside from seeing it as a very difficult task, you begin to wonder why you are trying to do it in the first place. The same theory should apply to taking a 30 minute television show and stretching it into a 90 minute movie. Yet, for some reason people in Hollywood don’t have that little voice in their head saying, “this is dumb!”

Whether haphazardly stumbling in the footsteps of The Dukes of Hazzard or making an attempt to recreate the magical success that Borat experienced last year, creator Ben Garant has decided to take his famed sitcom Reno 911! to the big screen. In Reno 911!: Miami, the now infamous members of the Reno sheriff’s department descend upon Miami Beach, Florida and the National Police Convention. Upon arrival though, they learn that something has gone wrong with their reservation and they are not allowed in. After a night of boozing (and some lewd sexual conduct), they decide to return on the second day of the convention for another try, only to find out that every policeman in Miami Beach has been trapped inside the convention center at the hands of a biological terror attack. Left with no other viable options, the Department of Homeland Security tasks out the bumbling team of cops from Reno to keep Miami Beach in order and find the antidote before thousands of cops meet their unfortunate end.

Along the way Reno’s finest, lead by the dashing and tight shorts wearing Lt. Jim Dangle (Thomas Lennon), meet a host of interested characters, some familiar (Nick Swardson as Terry, the rollerblading male prostitute) and some welcomed surprises (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as a badass swat guy who has trouble holding onto his grenades). As with the Comedy Central show upon which the film is based, the most humorous moments are based on interactions with locals, well timed celebrity cameos (Danny DeVito and Paul Rudd, to name a few) and some raunchy innuendo. But instead of just innuendo, the film version takes the liberty to show off its R rating and throw in some language, some direct sexual themes and of course some gratuitous nudity – much of what you would expect from the Reno crew on the big screen. But while the film itself has a very inappropriate feel to it, it pales in comparison to the likes of Borat, which was just the most sinful experience you could possibly have in theaters without going to one of those “Adults Only” establishments.

And though it gets some laughs the old fashioned way (superfluous masturbation references), Ben Garant’s adaptation does run into a few problems when it realizes that 30 minutes worth of jokes just won’t cut it. Some parts seem trite and unnecessary and some just don’t fit, specifically any time actress Niecy Nash sports a thong – it just didn’t do it for me. Much of the movie feels like useless filler just to get you from one joke to the next, giving the film a very choppy feel.

But despite its gaping holes of humorlessness, Reno 911!: Miami is still funnier than the rest of the schlock you’ll see this early in the year. The raunchy, uncomfortable moments make the film bearable, and while it doesn’t even come close to being this year’s Borat, it is funny enough to keep you around until the final credits.

Final Grade:

Reno 911!: Miami is in theaters now, has a running time of 84 minutes and is rated R for sexual content, nudity, crude humor, language and drug use.

Tuesdays are for DVD’s. That is just part of life. On Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays we are out painting the town red and visiting our local cineplex’s to see what great new cinematic adventures have landed in theaters, but weekdays don’t normally lend very well to going out. That whole “job” thing always gets in the way, does it not? So why not stop out to your local retailer and pick up a newly released DVD. Maybe you can see something you missed in theaters or maybe you can rediscover a film you had previously enjoyed. Either way, you should always check here every Tuesday as I lay down my “DVD of the Week.”

This week’s pick is one of the more underrated films from both 2006 and the career of Will Ferrell. Stranger than Fiction tells the story of Harold Crick (Ferrell), an IRS auditor whose stale life is consumed with his love for numbers — so much so that he counts his steps to work. The epitome of a loser, Crick finds himself caught in a daily routine that he neither dislikes nor makes any attempts to change. That is, until he begins hearing the voice of author Kay Eiffel (Emma Thompson), who is narrating his entire life. Crick’s routine is broken all apart as he realizes that he is a character in her novel, a character that she wants dead, so he must figure out a way to stop her from killing him off so that he may continue to live — and quite possibly live his life to the fullest.

The film has that usual Will Ferrell charm, but with none of the mindless gags or random acts of college humor. This is Will Ferrell’s movie career all grown up. Aside from a surprising solid performance from Ferrell, the film sports a very apt supporting cast. Emma Thompson is as witty as ever, Dustin Hoffman pops up to lend his own brand of subtle comedy and Maggie Gyllenhaal plays Harold’s unexpected love interest, a foul mouthed anti-establishmentist baker named Ana. It all adds up to a film that is genuinely funny (not dumb funny like most of Farrell’s other work), somewhat introspective and ultimately full of heart. Not your quintessential Oscar winner (or even nominee), but a really enjoyable flick that deserves a shot — especially on DVD. I would say give this one a shot, as you will be pleasantly surprised.

Also hitting the shelves of your local retailers this week: Russell Crowe in the painfully boring A Good Year, Jack Black and Kyle Gass in their severely underestimated movie epic Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny and Heart of the Game, a critically acclaimed documentary about a girls’ high school basketball team from Seattle.

Where were you last night?

A completely reasonable question, because if you are reading this site then you are most likely a big movie fan (or lost). And last night was the 79^th Annual Academy Awards, which is one of the biggest nights of the year for anyone who digs movies or scantily clad celebrities walking down a red carpet. If you missed the Oscars, then you missed quite a bit. Ellen Degeneres hosted, and quite well I might add. There were some surprises, some funny moments and then there were some sappy moments. Also, plenty of montages to fill 4 hours of show and plenty of celebrity glitz to go around. So whether you were out partying it up like I was or you were cuddled up on your couch, my hope is that you took in the show last evening, because otherwise the rest of this is going to make little to no sense at all.

You may be asking yourself, “How did the Movie Guy do with his predictions?” It is funny you should ask, because I’d like to think that I did quite well. In fact, I out-picked my fellow COFCA members, which made me feel pretty darn cool. Some of it was blind luck, but most of it was my ability to read between the lines of the entire awards season. Alright, it was all blind luck.

The night started well, with Pan’s Labyrinth winning the first two awards of the night (Achievement in Makeup and Art Direction). But then, as many of the technical awards were announced I began to fall behind. Who knew that Marie Antoinette would win for Best Costume Design? I sure didn’t. I also missed out an all of the short film categories, but those were mostly guesswork anyway.

As the night wore on, it was clear to me that my picks in the major categories were going to go well. It started with Alan Arkin winning Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Little Miss Sunshine. Everyone thought that Eddie Murphy was going to walk away with this one, but I had a gut instinct that even a flashy motown singer couldn’t overcome the drawer power of a flagrant, heroin addicted perve grandfather figure.

Then there were the obvious choices, as if we thought anyone else was going to win. Helen Mirren took home the Best Actress Award for her performance in The Queen, Forest Whitaker won Best Actor for The Last King of Scotland and Jennifer Hudson, America’s rags to riches story, took home the Best Supporting Actress award for Dreamgirls, all as expected.

I was also happy to see that I correctly predicted both screenwriting awards. William Monohan’s Best Adapted Screenplay award for writing The Departed was well deserved, as that story (and the movie for that matter) was as suspenseful and intelligently crafted as any film I have seen in a long time. Also, Michael Arndt’s win for Best Original Screenplay for Little Miss Sunshine just goes to prove what I have been saying since last summer — that Little Miss Sunshine was the most honest, original and heartwarming story of 2006.

But my excitement was subdued a bit when it came down to the final two awards. At first, when Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas came on stage to present the Best Director Award, we all knew what was up. It was a somber and heartwarming moment to see Martin Scorsese finally get to take the stage and grasp an Oscar for himself. The man is truly one of the great American directors, and this year was just his year to win it. Then shortly after Marty got his Oscar, his film was graced with another great achievement: the Oscar for Best Motion Picture. Personally, I would have liked to see Little Miss Sunshine walk away with Best Picture as opposed to The Departed, but I can’t complain. By that time I had picked 15 of the 24 categories correctly, and if your pick is going to lose it might as well lose to a great film. And The Departed was, without a doubt, a great film.

In the end when I look back at last night’s Oscar show, I have to say that I am pleased. There is no reason to run out into the streets shouting about how great the show was, but it was good enough to keep me interested and I agreed with most of the winners. If you watched the entire show, you can probably relate to the fact that it did drag on, but when doesn’t it drag on. You have to go into the Oscar telecast understanding that someone will make a painfully long acceptance speech (i.e. Ennio Morricone accepting his Honorary Oscar with Clint Eastwood translating from Italian to English) and that there are going to be one too many montages about seemingly irrelevant topics (like the Foreign Cinema montage). But there were some funny moments courtesy of host Ellen Degeneres, whose attempt to get Steven Spielberg to take a picture of herself and Clint Eastwood for MySpace was pretty darn funny. There was also a very funny musical number by Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly about taking Helen Mirren home with them.

On a whole, the show was pretty good. Not amazing, but good. I would have been more satisfied had Little Miss Sunshine been the last movie called…

For more Oscar coverage, stay locked on my Oscar Beat column, as I will be recapping who won, who didn’t and who should have all week long!

I am really a sucker for a good giveaway, so I have partnered this blog up with my other love, Film School Rejects, in order to bring you the giveaway of the year! Are you excited about the movie 300? If you aren’t, then you should be. If you are, then you will be interested to see some of the awesome prizes below:

Prizes

	“Tonight We Dine in Hell” T-Shirts Quantity: 3 Show off your spirit for 300 by wearing one of the films most iconic lines on your back. It is one thing to get chills when Leonidas is yelling out to his men “Tonight We Dine in Hell” and quite another to show it off to the world.
	Black Cap Embroidered with 300 Title Art and Mask Quantity: 3 Redefine cool with this slick black cap. You will feel like the director of the film, just without all of the money and fame.
	2 Regular Edition Soundtrack CDs, 1 Special Edition Soundtrack CD Original Motion Picture Soundtrack featuring the innovative score by Tyler Bates will be released on March 6th as a regular edition CD as well as a Special Edition CD with deluxe artwork including 3 two-sided trading cards and a 16 page full color booklet.) Check out more here.
	Messenger Bag Quantity: 1 A brushed twill & full-grain leather bag debossed with the “300″ Title Art & Metal Shield.
	“Art of the Film” Book Quantity: 1 See how Director Zack Snyder’s cinematic version matches up to the original visionary graphic novel by Frank Miller.
	Cast Autographed Poster Quantity: 1 The original theatrical poster signed by members of the cast.
	300 March to Glory — PSP Game Quantity: 1 Go beyond the movie and lead 300 Spartan warriors in a heroic fight to the death against Xerxes’ massive Persian army! Check out more here.

When?

The contest runs from February 26 through March 12.

How do I sign up?

Just email the following information to contests@filmschoolrejects.com with “300 — Contest Entry” in the Subject Line:

Your Name
Your Mailing Address (Street, City, State, Zip)
Your Birthdate
Your Email Address

Also, those who subscribe to the Columbus Movie Guy’s Daily Updates are automatically entered! Just fill in the form below and be automatically entered in this and any future contests, courtesy of The Columbus Movie Guy!

For more news, reviews and features about the film 300, check out the Film School Rejects Official 300 Preview!

Is there any fine print?

Yes. The contest is open to legal residents of the US and Canada. One entry per email address, please. Winners will be contacted shortly after the close of the contest to be notified of their prize and prizes will be shipped shortly after that. This contest is presented by The Columbus Movie Guy in partnership with Film School Rejects.

For more information about the Film School Rejects Privacy Policy, please click here.

Related Reading

• The Anti-300 Debate?
• Interview: Director Zach Snyder talks 300 and more…
• Are you Ready to Dine in Hell?
• Film School Rejects Official 300 Preview

The Last time Jim Carrey and Joel Shumacher teamed up to make a movie, we got Batman Forever – the film that began the downward spiral of an entire franchise. That is, until the franchise was later reinvented by Christopher Nolan. The last time Jim Carrey ventured away from his trademarked brand of comedy, we saw brilliance in Michel Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So what would happen when Shumacher and Carrey team up again, this time to make a drama about a man’s plunge into obsession and paranoia. Well, you get a film that is more on the Eternal Sunshine side of the spectrum, at least momentarily.

The film starts out as the harmless tale of Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey), an arid middle aged family man whose greatest source of adventure is tracking down animals as a member of the local pest control office. Happily married with a wife (Virginia Madsen) and a son (Logan Lerman), Walter has as little reason for stress as he does adventure. That is, until one night when he comes across a book titled The Number 23. The book tells the story of Fingerling (also played by Carrey), a rogue detective whose world is turned upside down by the coincidental nature of the number 23, a nature that has brought murder and suicide to anyone it plagues. As Walter reads the book, he realizes that he and Fingerling are not unlike each other, but are eerily similar in many ways. He begins to draw parallels between what should seem like a fictional world and his own reality, sliding him deep into a state of paranoia.

That state of paranoia is what drives the film to a level of creepy that will make your skin crawl. A well cast Jim Carrey takes his character from homely to homicidal in mere moments as Walter’s world begins to corrode at the hands of a number. Carrey’s usual brand of theatrics are missing as he honkers down and aptly shows us a character whose thoughts are twisted and who is losing his grip on reality. Virginia Madsen plays his wife, who goes almost blindly along with the paranoia as Walter begins to think that the murders happening in the book may have happened in real life.

As it turns out, the murders did happen in real life, just not quite as Walter would initially figure. The whole thing is just one big twist and turn away from being an utter shock-fest. The only problem is that the film never takes that last step and The Number 23 falls victim to the fact that it must explain its own twisted logic. Joel Shumacher, showing us what he does best and then showing us why we hate half of his movies, shows no restraint in the story telling, allowing the film to drone on about how the number 23 is a mark of evil and that its coincidental nature will drive someone to murder.

In the end, we get a film that draws us in for the first 80 minutes only to let us down in the last 15. We are sucked into a terrifying and intense story then we are given an ending that just doesn’t fit. Think about the most suspenseful flick you have ever seen, and then picture it with a docile, chipper ending. That is what you get if you see The Number 23. Had the director pushed the razor sharp edge of the film all the way to the end, we would be interested. Unfortunately for us, he didn’t. My recommendation – go see this one in theaters, just leave with 15 minutes to go.

Final Grade:

The Number 23 has a running time of 95 minutes and is rated R for violence, disturbing images, sexuality and language. It is currently showing at the Arena Grand, click here for showtimes.

Another year, another set of surprises and another completely unique bunch of movies and it all comes down to this. In all actuality, it will really come down to this moment on Sunday evening when the Best Director and Best Picture envelopes are opened and the winners are paraded up to the stage to show their gratitude. The Academy has, on occasion, gotten it right and given these awards to the most deserving souls. Will 2006 be that kind of year? I for one seem to think so.

Best Achievement in Directing

Who will win: Martin Scorsese (The Departed)
Who should win: Martin Scorsese (The Departed)

Oscarwatch reported earlier this week that a straw poll amongst some of the more geriatric members of the Academy had Clint Eastwood taking the Best Director nod away from the seemingly destined Martin Scorsese. But they forgot one thing: Marty is the man, and this is his year. For him to make what could be his best film so late in his career just goes to show that he still has it, and how can the Academy not recognize such an accomplishment. I can also understand how Clint Eastwood is so beloved, but he had 2 chances to upstage Marty this year (Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima) and he just couldn’t pull it off. Go ahead Academy, give ole’ Marty one to remember — we all know you want to.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Who will win: Little Miss Sunshine
Who should win: Little Miss Sunshine

Who will win Best Picture? That is the question of the year. First you have The Queen, a good movie driven by one fantastic performance. Then you have Babel, this year’s Crash lite. Throw into the mix Letters from Iwo Jima, a late year last-ditch effort from Clint Eastwood and you have a few great films.

But none of the three of these movies even come close to The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine, the year’s two best flicks — polar opposites in their own right. Little Miss Sunshine was the little movie that could, starting off the year without a distributor then blowing up at Sundance. It spent the entire year winning over the hearts of American audiences, never looking back. The Departed, on the other hand, was to be Marty Scorsese’s greatest accomplishment. A big, studio funded American gangster flick from one of the greatest American directors of all time.

Who takes the little golden guy home? Little Miss Sunshine. Marty will get his Best Director win, but no other film had the honest, quirky, heart warming charm possessed in the story of a dysfunctional family from New Mexico. Their little yellow VW bus may be on the verge of a breakdown, but their film continues to speed right along.

So there you have it, the final piece of the Oscar puzzle. All that is left now is to grab some chips and dips, invite over some friends and be captivated by the glitz and glamor of Hollywood’s elite — bring on the greatest night in cinema!

As they say, the most surprising moments on Oscar night lie within the Acting categories. I don’t really know who they are, but they must not have said that after seeing this year’s nominations. All throughout the Awards season, we have been treated to a cavalcade of Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson taking home hardware. This would lead most to believe that these will be the four men and women on stage Sunday night who will be making copious acceptance speeches, thanking everyone in sight — and God. But one key thing to remember is that most of the major awards given up to now have been voted on by critics, not members of the Academy. And I know you are saying “but what about the SAG Awards?” Nevermind those little guys, this is the big show and the Academy loves to throw us for a loop every now and again.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Who will win: Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls)
Who should win: Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls)

The whole of Hollywood and the rest of the world knew who was going to win in this category back in December when the buzz around Dreamgirls was red hot. They weren’t talking about Beyonce finally failing to ruin a film or about the best musical since Chicago, they were talking about the rags-to-riches sensation Jennifer Hudson. In one of the weaker categories in the entire show, Hudson is the standout by a long shot. The only other performance that could be looked at was Rinko Kikuchi in Babel, but Hudson was electric and there is no denying that, even with the infinite snubbing wisdom of the Academy.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Who will win: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine)
Who should win: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine)

Go ahead and call the upset now — Eddie Murphy, in all of the buzz and hype around Dreamgirls, was truly overshadowed by the afore mentioned Ms. Hudson. Alan Arkin, on the other hand, was one of the most memorable characters in a film that just won’t give up on its journey to Oscar glory, Little Miss Sunshine. Arkin was crass, belligerent and ultimately charming which leads me to believe that not only can he win over the hearts of audiences, but that he will win the praise of the Academy as well.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Who will win: Helen Mirren (The Queen)
Who should win: Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada)

This is where the upset won’t happen. This is also where the nominees are the strongest. Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, Dame Judi Dench, all of these leading ladies gave powerhouse performances that would easily in had they not been pitted against Helen Mirren. While some of us snored through The Queen and were illuminated by The Devil Wears Prada, it seems that everyone else (including the Academy) was falling for that dry British charm. Oh well, maybe next year for these other ladies.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Who will win: Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland)
Who should win: Peter O’Toole (Venus)

Yes, the Academy is full of sentimental old buggers. No, that will not help Peter O’Toole finally win an Oscar outright. As much as everyone loves an underdog, this category will fall to the man who is the most lauded actor of the year. The Last King of Scotland, a decent movie in its own right, would have never seen acclaim had it not been for the powerful and commanding performance of its leading man, and that is what this award is all about — go ahead, Academy, give the guy his just deserts.

Just two more categories left to predict, Best Director and Best Picture. All of this speculation is making me a bit hungry. Let’s do lunch and meet back here for the big moment a little later.

Do you have some Oscar Predictions? Feel free to lay them down in the comments section below.

Earlier today I laid down the groundwork for what may be my most prolific year of Oscar predictions. I feel confident in the sense that this year I have seen the highest number of nominated flicks in comparison with years past. Thus my opinions can be more solid, calculated predictions rather than a mess of guesswork — I save all of that for my reviews. But enough of that self deprecating drivel, let’s get on with the good stuff:

Best Animated Film of the Year
Who Will Win: Happy Feet
Who Should Win: Cars

Here is a very difficult category for me. I love almost every sleek animated film that is released. I am able to look past gaping plot holes, massively over-used clichés and even some lame characters in order to see a film that looks cool. While all three of the nominated flicks look cool, though, I can say that Cars was really the show stopper of the year. Pixar’s glorious return to power in the world of animation sported a good story, a kickin’ soundtrack and that patented Pixar look and feel. Happy Feet, while a good film in it’s own right, was just too much of a song and dance and not enough substance. But then again, those Academy members are suckers for a good song and dance every once in a while.

Best Documentary, Features
Who Will Win: An Inconvenient Truth
Who Should Win: An Inconvenient Truth

Hollywood has really developed a thing for Al Gore. They liked him back in 2000 when he ran for President, but as we saw then — that didn’t amount to much. His film has garnered plenty of acclaim from people who really enjoy a good classroom setting, and his “performance” was the funniest work he has done to date. Where was all this wit and charisma when America needed it, Al? His film is the standout amongst the left-winged, tree hugging wannabe pundits of Hollywood — and if nothing else, they will be giving him an Oscar just to see if he will really announce his candidacy for the 2008 election. I don’t think he will, but I do know that his speech will be monotone.

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Who Will Win: Pan’s Labyrinth
Who Should Win: Letters from Iwo Jima

This is where I will get myself into a bit of trouble. I do understand that Letters from Iwo Jima is not nominated in this category. My argument is that it is a film in Japanese, which can also be construed as a “foreign” language, thus making it a “foreign language” film. It needs to be taken out of the Best Picture race and placed in the proper category. Since that is not going to happen, Pan’s Labyrinth is the obvious choice here.

There you have it — short, sweet and to the point — just the way I like it. As I retire for the evening I am reminded of all the reason’s why you should come back to my blog tomorrow and gaze at the wonder that is The Columbus Movie Guy. On tap, I have more Oscar frenzy (including my picks for the Acting Categories, Best Director and Best Picture), reviews for The Number 23 and Reno 911!: Miami and maybe even a very exciting announcement involving the upcoming release of 300 combined with some free stuff for you. You may want to come back for that last part, at least.

Over the next two days you will see plenty of predictions about who will take home a little golden guy on Sunday night, but I thought I should throw up a disclaimer from the start. As a critic, it is difficult for me to make predictions without a bit of bias toward the films that I really like. Thus, in addition to giving you who I think will win, I am going to lay down who I think should win as well. With that said, lets get down to it. We start with some of the lesser publicized categories, the awards given to those who work behind the scenes. From the man behind the camera to those who adapt previous literature into a two hour cinematic adventure, these folks are the gears that keep the wheels of cinema rolling. Without them, there would be no story, no dazzling visuals and certainly none of those eye-popping effects that sell popcorn.

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Who Will Win: Guillermo Navarro (Pan’s Labyrinth)
Who Should Win: Emmanuel Lubezki (Children of Men)

Combining his keen eye with the strong willed vision of director Alfonso Cuaron, Emmanuel Lubezki helped to create one of the most visually stimulating films of the year in Children of Men. The two men brought to life P.D. James’ dark and chaotic vision of a future world where humanity can no longer procreate and everyone is just waiting for the end to come. The look of the film sets the tone of intrigue and creates a distinct mood within the viewer, a mood that adds to the already intriguing story. But while Children of Men was the most stunning film, it did not get quite as much press as Pan’s Labyrinth, which is highly regarded as one of the year’s best looking films. Guillermo Navarro led us deep into a fantasy world like no other, and he just may come back out with a little hardware come Sunday night.

Best Achievement in Editing
Who Will Win: Thelma Schoonmaker (The Departed)
Who Should Win: Thelma Schoonmaker (The Departed)

Here is where I will agree with my own prediction. Martin Scorsese’s latest masterpiece would not have been such a gripping story had the pieces of the puzzle not been put into place so perfectly. Scosese’s trusted emissary Thelma Shoonmaker, who has edited many of his recent films, executed a tightly cut film that oozed tension and gave us all a jolt here and there. Well worth a ticket, a purchase on DVD and an Oscar statuette.

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Who Will Win: John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charles Gibson, Allen Hall (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest)
Who Should Win: John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charles Gibson, Allen Hall (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest)

Who can resist the awe-inspiring effects that bombarded us in this year’s top grossing film. It raked in over $1 billion dollars at the world wide box office. Anyone want to take a guess at why? An insanely entertaining Johnny Depp, pulse pounding action and — you guessed it, some wicked cool special effects. If Superman Returns would have had more action, this one would have been close, but its not.

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
Who Will Win: William Monohan (The Departed)
Who Should Win: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham, Dan Mazer, Todd Phillips (Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan)

Just like the editing award, this one will see Marty Scorsese’s film garnering more gold. Monohan’s adaptation of Infernal Affairs was exceptional. He captured the tension, got us involved in the lives of the characters and wrote some killer dialogue for ole’ Jack Nicholson. But isn’t it time that an award goes to a movie where two hairy, disgustingly naked men run ramped through a hotel lobby? I don’t think the Academy will share that sentiment.

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Who Will Win: Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine)
Who Should Win: Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine)

Maybe I am feeling a bit too agreeable, or maybe the Academy will get it right this year. The story of Little Miss Sunshine, illuminated by an outstanding cast, was what truly made this one of the best films of the year. First time screenwriter Michael Arndt deserves all the credit in the world for creating this charming and mostly dysfunctional portrait of the American family. Grandpa did coke, Olive shook her booty and the writer should damn-well get some praise.

Round One complete as we roll on toward the big night, Sunday February 25 at 6pm (Eastern). That is this Sunday for those keeping score at home. Later tonight I will examine the off-beat film categories, including Best Animated Feature, Best Documentary and Best Foreign Language Film, so don’t click too far away.

You asked for it — so here it is. I have received tons of emails from readers pleading for a weekly post about what is going to be hot each weekend at the box office. People want to know where to go, what to see and which movies will wow their friends or entice their significant other. And as much as I cannot guarantee that you will have success with my “date movie” recommendations, I can say that I would happily be your guide each and every weekend, Columbus. We can just say that you owe me one…

Without further ado, here is your rundown for this weekend:

	The Number 23 Running Time: 95 min. Rated R for violence, disturbing images, sexuality and language. This is not one for the kids — but it may do alright for the adults. Director Joel Shumacher has crafted a seriously creepy, unnerving deep dive into the realm of paranoia centered around the number 23. Jim Carrey puts on his dramatic hat once again, but unlike with Eternal Sunshine, he comes in a bit over the top. The film is great for the first 80 minutes, but then it takes a turn for the worse. All that suspense and edge builds up to one of the most lackluster endings I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you Joel Shumacher for reminding us that you were the guy behind Batman Forever. Grade: | Trailer
	Reno 911!: Miami Running Time: 84 min. Rated R for sexual content, nudity, crude humor, language and drug use. For fans of the show upon which this film is based, the above explanation of the film’s rating will be a welcomed sign of good things. With plenty of sexual content, crude humor, gratuitous nudity (which includes lewd masturbation references and plenty of Niecy Nash’s rotund rear) and language, this film is the Lexus to the television show’s Toyota. This band of misguided cops has never been funnier in a film that got me laughing in a way that I have not experienced since, well — Borat. If you are a fan of the show, this is not to be missed. If not, then it may be worth a shot in the foot just this once. Grade: | Trailer
	The Astronaut Farmer Running Time: 104 min. Rated PG for thematic material, peril and language. Let me get this straight — Billy Bob Thornton plays lead in a PG rated, inspirational and family friendly tale about a farmer who builds his own rocket ship because NASA wouldn’t let him go up in one of theirs. Yeah, and Britney Spears shaved her head and finally checked into rehab! Oh wait… Alright, so this movie is real no matter how unbelievably precarious it may sound. I did not catch it as of yet, but early reviews have been positive. Even Tara Settembre from Film School Rejects gave it a B+. I don’t know what to make of it, but I would recommend passing. Trailer
	The Abandoned Running Time: 94 min. Rated R for violence/gore, some disturbing images, nudity and language. This one apparently got everyone in an uproar at Horrorfest, so it may sneak in as a good under-the-radar fright flick. As one who despises the entire genre of horror, I am at a loss. Directed by acclaimed Spanish filmmaker Nacho Cerdà, this one seems to show potential, and I’m told it is scary as all hell. My recommendation: if you dig horror, you may want to check this one out before Lions Gate remakes it. Trailer
	Amazing Grace Running Time: 111 min. Rated PG for thematic material involving slavery, and some mild language. Sweet, here is a limited release that is actually going to be playing in our fair city. This one has been making rounds in the festival circuit and is finally ready for Joe Public. The question though, is whether Joe Public can handle a story about a man maneuvering his way through British Parliament in the 18th Century with aspirations of abolishing slavery. Yawn… Wake me up when the trailer for 300 comes on. Once I see this one I will have a better point-of-view, but for now I would recommend a pass. Trailer

There you have it friends, this week’s list of releases. There are a few to go see and some to avoid. Which ones you see is up to you, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you…

I just got off the phone with my mother. This is something that normally only happens when I have some kind of news or if I am planning to make the trek up I-71 to Cleveland for a visit. In this particular instance, my motive was that I had exciting news to share. What is this monumental news? You may ask. Well, on Friday February 23, 2007 (this Friday) I will be joining the hosts of Good Day Columbus on Fox 28 to talk about the Oscars. I am tremendously excited to be able to go on television and help Columbus gear up for Oscar night. Why they chose me, I’m not sure. It just goes to prove that if you work hard you too can be on a local morning show — that is, as long as you are selected based on your efforts and not just because everyone else said no. For me, who knows what twisted karmatic energy was at work, the important thing is that it is going to happen. Don’t believe me? Just check out Fox 28’s Good Morning Columbus schedule page, under Friday.

Also on Friday, check out this fabulous site to get more info on where the cinema elite of Columbus will be partying on Oscar night.

For more on the Oscars themselves, check out my Oscar Beat column.

I know that I have been a pretty lame critic lately, producing only 3 reviews thus far in 2007. But it has been a rough month and a half for us here in Central Ohio. First of all we fell into that post-Holiday release slump where the biggest release of the first month was a lightweight You Got Served knock off that scored a whopping 26% on the RT Tomatometer. February has improved a bit, but we were all but burried by 3 inches of snow that shut down all of Columbus and held me hostage in my own home. So I missed a few screenings. So I am in need of some help. Thankfully, I have plenty of friends from the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (cofca.org) that can help me spell it all out for you. Check out their takes on some recent releases below:

Hannibal Rising — February 9
reviewed by Jason Zingale (Bullz-eye.com)
“If this sounds a little too much like a revenge flick, it’s because it is. The story has absolutely nothing to do with the serial killer that we all know and love, except for the fact that it spends nearly two hours explaining why it is that he’s resorted to cannibalism.”

Norbit — February 9
reviewed by Mark Pfeiffer (Reel Times: Reflections of Cinema)
“If NORBIT doesn’t kill cinema, nothing will.”

Because I Said So — February 9
reviewed by John DeSando (WCBE)
“No doubt our pop culture needs to confront the obsessive mom, as I did my first wife, but it needs to rid itself of clichés and add wit.”

Music and Lyrics — February 14
reviewed by Kristin Dreyer Kramer (Nights and Weekends.com)
“As they say, some things just get better with age—like fine wines…cheese…certain ‘80s pop stars…and Drew Barrymore.”

Breach — February 16
reviewed by Kevin Carr (7m Pictures)
“Rather than being a high-action thriller, “Breach” is more of a slow burn through the night. It has a steady build to the inevitable and predictable end. I commend the filmmakers for offering a sense of realism and soberness over the tempting car chase you might see in a Bruce Willis film.”

There you are. I hope that will give you something to munch on for now. As for me, I can promise plenty more news, reviews and distasteful opinions in the coming weeks.

At least you have something to look forward too…

Here is a challenge for you, take a popular yet somewhat obscure comic book franchise and make a movie about it. Now, by obscure I do not mean Superman, Batman or Spiderman – those have already been done and they are far from obscure. Now once you have this story in your midst, your goal will be to make a movie that is campy, unnecessarily cliché and drives die hard fans of the franchise nuts. Once you have done that, then you will be on your way to being Director Mark Steven Johnson, who has completed said task not once, not twice but now three times. In 2003 he directed Daredevil, which was a critical knockout, and not in a good way. Two years later he was the writer and executive producer for Elektra, which got hit by a huge critical bus. So now, after all of that, Mr. Steven Johnson has come back with Ghost Rider – and lets just say that what he lacks in his decision making, he does make up with some visual flair.

The film stars Ghost Rider fanatic Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze, who as a young boy sells his soul to the devil (played by Peter Fonda – yes, that Peter Fonda) in order to cure his dad of cancer. Little does he know that the devil is a trickster who would kill his old man off anyway. Didn’t that kid read the New Testament? That devil is a sneaky bastard.

Anyway, the now soulless Johnny is cursed to one day become the Ghost Rider, the devil’s personal bounty hunter. Years later Johnny, after a painful amount of plot mis-development, Johnny is called upon by the devil to hunt down his son Blackheart (Wes Bentley) who is going through one of those “rebel against my father and destroy humanity” phases. This is a downer for Johnny, seeing as he has just reunited with his childhood love, played by Eva Mendes. Now Johnny must embrace his curse of being the Ghost Rider, and under the tutelage of a cemetery caretaker (Sam Elliot) he must find a way to defeat Blackheart, banish him back to the underworld and save all of mankind – all with his head on fire.

When you look at it that way it at least sounds cool, does it not? The only trouble that we run into is the fact that the plot in this film is severely underdeveloped. The entire film moves along at a pace that feels rushed for audience leaving nothing but questions: Why is the devil’s son trying to rebel? How did Johnny go from being a two-bit carney stunt biker to being Evel Knievel? And the all important question, why should we care?

Another set of issues entirely is the handling of Ghost Rider himself. Nicholas Cage, a devoted fan of the franchise (so much so that he has a Ghost Rider tattoo) should have paid more attention during post-production, because something went seriously wrong. If I remember correctly, Ghost Rider is one of the more bad-ass comic book characters, but this version of Ghost Rider is more silly than anything else. Every time he lights up into flames his voice sounds more like a lagoon creature than the devil’s henchman. Also coming in way over the top is Wes Bentley’s Blackheart. To say the least, Jason Lee was a more frightening version of demon spawn when he played Azreal in Kevin Smith’s Dogma – enough said. It begs yet another question: Are they really taking themselves seriously with this flick?

But while writer/director Johnson fails to answer that and other questions, which may be the ultimate downside of the film, he does create a few nice diversions of style. The visuals in the film are pretty slick. From the seamlessness of Nicholas Cage’s head exploding into a flaming skull to some pretty cool high flying motorcycle-on-fire stuff, Johnson finds a way to wow audiences enough to keep them awake. He took no shortcuts with the soundtrack either, leading me to believe that like Daredevil before it, this film will be pretty cool on DVD.

On the whole, Ghost Rider is, as I like to say, entertaining enough. It lacks any redeeming value for those seeking a great film, but it serves as 114 minutes of mindless escapism into a world where a flaming dude can ride around on a cool motorcycle. Seek not intellectual stimulation here. So if you don’t already have a hard-on for Ghost Rider, then I would suggest waiting because just like the rest of the films in the Mark Steven Johnson collection, this one will be much better when you can buy it out of the $5.99 bin at Wal-Mart.

Final Grade:

One of my personal favorite theaters around town is the Drexel Gateway in the South Campus Gateway area. That entire area is nice, as it allows me to travel down to campus and not get stuck in some dive propositioning 17 year old girls who look 25. At least here there are mature, cultured 18 year olds for me to proposition.

But that’s not the topic of today’s news. The news of the day is that the Drexel Gateway is going to be showing the short films nominated in the two Oscar categories (Live Action and Animated). Beginning tomorrow (February 16^th) and running all next week leading up to the Oscars on the 25^th. Tickets can be purchased at the Gateway box office, and will run $12 (Adults) and $10 (Students) to see both the live action and animated features. That’s over 10 short films for the price of one large popcorn! Just kidding, but it is a great deal and something that any movie buff should check out before Oscar night is upon us.

For more information, visit the Drexel Gateway’s Homepage or give them a call at 614-545-2255.

There is never any shortage of big names who are willing to get up on stage and wax political before announcing the winner of a coveted award. This is what makes it easy for Academy Awards show producer Laura Ziskin to find presenters to open the envelopes and hand out little gold men. The difficult part is finding the right group of presenters to compliment this year’s host Ellen Degeneres. This year’s presenters will include some hot commodities as well as some old favorites.

Here is the confirmed list this far:

Daniel Craig
Will Ferrell
Nicole Kidman
Reese Witherspoon
Cate Blanchett
Steve Carell
Penelope Cruz
Tom Hanks
Rachel Weisz
Ben Affleck
Tom Cruise
Kirsten Dunst
Kate Winslet

No real surprises here. Gossipers hope that Tom Cruise brings along his estranged wife, who was once a Hollywood hot commodity but now appears publicly with the frequency of Vice President Dick Cheney. Oddly enough, they both lived at one point in an undisclosed underground location. Go figure? Another interesting choice is Steve Carell, star of television’s The Office. Everyone will be waiting to see who will become this year’s Ben Stiller and pull a stunt similar to walking out in a green suit and pretending to be invisible, so my bet is on Carell. Because lets face it, Will Ferrell is just too obvious a choice for that. All-in-all it is a solid list, and with more to come this year’s Oscar ceremonies have the air of being potentially entertaining. But even if they seemed like they would suck, would that stop you from tuning in?

That’s what I thought.